A lot of people say "No regrets!" like they really have no regrets in their life.
I just don't understand that.
Because I have regrets. Boy oh boy, do I!
One of my biggest regrets is forgetting just how fast they really do grow up. Instead I spend my day caught up in keeping up.
When I see them sleeping I realize just how perfect they are and how innocent (most of the time) they really are.
I really do like being a mom and I know it's important but do I totally get it? Heaven knows I don't know what I am doing most days.
Many nights I lay in bed with tears in my eyes for the love that I have for these little beings. I want them to be so happy and to experience all that they came here to do. I don't want them to go through heartache or ever have to experience pain.
I need to be better about letting my dishes pile up for weeks. I need to spend more time outdoors with them making mud pies and more time just sitting and listening.
I envy my friends who get it.
None the less I wake up in the morning refreshed and ready for a recharge on my motherly duties.
I know it's all about hindsight and there's no point in dwelling on the past. I just need to love them now.
'Cause this really is the best.
6 comments:
Boy I feel this way nearly everyday. I just never felt like a "natural" mom as some have been. I always had to put effort forward to be the mother I always thought I would be.
Of course sometimes I have unrealistic expectations of myself (most times), but I always feel like I should've spent more time with my kids regardless of how messy the house was.
I think we all feel like that! Just trying to make it through. I wish I could let me house become a diaster and just play, but I can't because then I feel like I am in a chaotic mess. For me, it is taking the time out when you need too. I know too many times I say "yep, in just a minute I will come" after the dishes are done, or laundry is folded, or something like that.. that is when I need to step away and wait until another time to finish those tasks. Being a mother is a HARD job. You are raising 3 amazing children. They are all happy and thriving and that should definitely be something you focus on as well. We are way to hard on ourselves.
Those pictures are sweet. Thanks for the reminder.
Thanks for sharing, Kendi! I'm sure we've all had those feelings - -wishing we could do more of all the right things. My Mom had a pretty good perspective; she said, "There's a difference between actively messy and dirty." That's a hard one to learn sometimes.
The pictures of the kids are absolutely angelic and priceless. Thanks for sharing.
Love you all.
Mom/Gram
Your kids are some of the most happy, fun, and well adjusted I've seen! Whatever you are doing, I'd like to take a page from your book! We all screw up, and like you said, you start a new day and learn more the next time. I know you didn't write the blog to hear this but you are a GREAT Mom!!!
Melecia
They are really beautiful when they sleep. I loved those pictures, especially the one of Beth. A friend once told me there is "more to life than increasing its speed." I take that to mean to slow down and enjoy the moments where the memories of those little tykes brng smiles. There comes a time when memories are mostly what we have. I'm glad you and Glen are resolved to enjoy them and love them. They are eternally connected to you. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Mike
I know. Sometimes I sit back and wonder why I worry so much about very insignificant things and ignore the most important ones. I wish I got it, too.
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